Bakit Ba Kasi Hindi Marunong Huminga Sa Ilalim Ng Tubig Ang Mga Pilipino?

Kung ang mga Pilipino ay ipinanganak na may hasang at palikpik, at nakakahinga sa ilalim ng tubig, e 'di sana wala tayong problema. E 'di sana walang nalulunod at namamatay tuwing tatagilid ang mga ferry at mga barko kapag umaambon at umaalon ang dagat.

E 'di sana hindi namatay 'yung higit 6,000 na tao sa sampung pinakamalalang aksidente sa dagat simula sa MV Dona Paz nu'ng 1987(1). E 'di sana hindi tayo nag-aalala na sa halos buwan-buwang paglubog ng mga barko ay may nadadamay tayong mga kamag-anak.

Siguradong dagdag na naman 'to sa sakit ng ulo ni Gloria. Kawawa naman. Hindi pa nga n'ya nalulusutan 'yung P1M dinner n'ya sa Le Cirque - NY, at dumating pa 'yung paglabas ng higit $1M halaga ng bahay nu'ng anaka nya sa US. Tapos sumabay pa 'tong paglubog ng SuperFerry 9. Kaya naman pala nagnanaknak 'yung silicon sa boobs n'ya e.

Kung tutuusin, hindi naman kasi talaga tayo kasama sa mga iniintindi n'ya. Boto at buwis lang naman ang katumbas natin. Para sa kanya, at sa mga tulad n'ya, wala tayong mukha at pangalan. Kung 'yun ngang mga state witness sa mga kontrobersyal na kasong tinututukan ng media, naipapaligpit nang wala-wala lang, tayo pang mga ordinaryong mortal lang?

Pero may pag-asa pa naman. Sabi nga ni Darwin, patuloy naman ang pag-aadapt ng species sa environment. Kung ganito nang ganito ang nangyayari sa atin, hindi na natin kakailanganing maghintay ng ilampung generation para tayo mag-evolve. Baka nga next year lang ipanganak na 'yung New & Improved Pinoy-- nakakahinga sa ilaim ng dagat para kahit ilang beses tumaob ang mga barko, okay lang; pagkapanganak pa lang e alam na ang Theory of Relativity ni Einstein para kahit palpak ang sistema ng edukasyon at kinukurakot ang budget para doon e okay lang; marunong kumain ng bala para kahit ipa-salvage ng mga pulitiko dahil may in-expose o magiging witness e okay lang.

At higit sa lahat, may telekinetic power para tuwing mapipikon sila kay Gloria, at 'di sila makalapit dahil sa damng bantay e makakaganti pa rin sila-- kapag pumutok ang balita tungkol sa pagsusulong nito sa ChaCha, matatampal nila sa pisngi kahit malayuan, o kapag 'di pa rin umalis sa pwesto sa 2010, pwede nilang kurutin sa singit, o kapag 'di n'ya binawi ang National Artist Awards kina Carlo Caparas at Cecile Alvarez e masasabunutan nila ang buhok n'ya sa nunal.

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1. "List of Deadliest Ferry Accidents in RP," Philippine Daily Inquirer. 07 September 2009.

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Sent from my mobile device

Willie Revillame Did NOTHING Wrong Support Group on Facebook

Did Willie Revillame do anything wrong? Is he uncouth? Is he mayabang? Is he manyakis? Is he guilty of rigging the results of the games on Wowowee? Does he go around feeling like he's above everyone else?

Well, not according to these people.

I found this support group page on Facebook for Willie Revillame the other day. We heard the Anti-Willie's vent their anger over and over again. And I thought it was about time we paid attention to what the Pro-Willie's had to say... all 28 of them.

The first screen cap is the main page, and the one below it is the whole thread of support for Papi. In order to read the text, though, you will have to click the pix to enlarge them.

The main page--

And the complete thread--

Original post after the jump.

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They Walk Amongst Us

Twilight Zone | Music Codes
A collection of anecdotes I found the other day in my emailbox. They're so stupid they will freak you out.

Don't laugh, though. Remember [music up] they walk amongst us.

Don't forget to PLAY the Twilight Zone music above to get the full effect.
***********************
Idiotic 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever

Kathy Evans, the single dumbest contestant to ever get on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. '

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was:

'Which of the following is the largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon.. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds..

'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon..'

'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy.. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to- live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

******************
Here's some more--
******************

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....' Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kg.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot.’

My friends and I were shopping for beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

I got off the plane but I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has our plane arrived yet?'...

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

*****************************
And the best I've saved for last--
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Funny Photo: Isang Umaga, Sakay ng Tricycle

'Yung tinitirahan ko ay nasa bandang looban. 'Yung tipong 'di mo mararating kundi mo sasadyain. 'Pag ikaw 'yung tipong naligaw at du'n ka napadpad, uhm, ano, tanga ka na lang talaga.

Anyway, dahil dito, swertihan kung paglabas mo ng building mo o nu'ng gate ng village eh madadaanan ka ng taxi. Kaya naman--sabi nga ni Melanie Marquez--blessing in the sky, dahil tuwing umaga, mae-enjoy mo ang scenery, ang sariwang hangin, ang peace and serenity habang lulan ka ng ever-reliable, earth-friendly at super-safe mode of transpo: ang tricycle.

Syempre packaged deal d'yan 'yung mga nakakatawang sticker. Gaya nito:

Sabi sa sticker:

PAALALA
HUWAG PO NATIN KALIMUTAN NA MAIWAN ANG ATING
MGA PERSONAL NA KAGAMITAN
SA LOOB NG TRICYCLE.

ATTY. ARIEL INTON
at ng pamunuan ng TODA

Lupet, 'di ba? Ngayon alam na natin kung bakit baku-bako pa rin ang mga kalsada. Kung bakit siksikan ang mga bata sa maliliit, maiinit at kakaunting mga classroom. Kung bakit wala tayong maayos na tirahan. Kung bakit ang mahal ng bilihin. Kung bakit ang mahal ng gasolina at ng pamasahe.

Dahil importanteng ma-remind tayo na huwag nating kalimutan ang ating mga personal na kagamitan sa loob ng tricycle.

[Actually, 'yung nakita kong sticker the other day, identical. Kaya lang sa pinakataas, may nakasulat pang Philippine Government Chenelyn-Chenes, Quezon City Council.]

TAENA naman, mga kuya, mga ate, WE STILL HAVE 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHS AND 1 DAY BAGO ANG MAY 10, 2010 ELECTIONS. Tama na muna ang papogi. Gawin n'yo muna trabaho n'yo, MGA TINAMAAN KAYO NG LINTEK.

At 'wag n'yong gastusin 'yang buwis na ibinayad namin. Mahal-mahal ng pamasahe, napipilitan kaming magbaon ng lunch, laki-laki ng tax na binabawas sa 'min, tapos sa ganyan n'yo lang wawaldasin?!

Btw, according sa time-stamp nu'ng picture, I took it on July 20, 2008. 1 year, 9 months and 21 days before ng susunod na eleksyon.

Putragis na buhay 'to.
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Paano Kung Lalaki Ka Pero Ang Celebrity Look-A-Like Mo Eh Si Fiona Apple?

ROTFLMAO!!!
Hindi ko alam kung sino 'to. At sana eh hindi mapikon dahil ginamit ko nang walang paalam 'yung resulta ng Celebrity Look-A-Like chorva n'ya.

Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit supposedly eh nakakatawa 'to. Nangako naman si Dindo na someday eh madi-discover din kung bakit humahagalpak ako ng tawa sa mga bagay na hindi naman nakakatawa.

Basta ang masasabi ko lang kinabog ako at napa-cartwheel dito sa picture na 'to. Siguro ang happy nung nag-upload ng picture kasi nakita n'yang lumabas na kamukha n'ya eh si Gabriel Byrne. Tapos Elliott Gould. Then Angelina Jolie. Teka.. teka... [pero by this time ini-ignore na ng pc n'ya yung pagpindot n'ya sa cancel button.]

At walang kaabug-abog. biglang lumabas na kamukha rin n'ya... si Fiona Apple [na mukhang pagod dahil galing sa paglalaba at masama ang loob].

Nyahahaha! Ang saya-saya 'no?!
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Then and Now: Tingnan ko kung Kayanin n'yo 'to

Nyahahaha!

Parang 'di ba nagkakape 'tong mga 'to. Walang kanerbyos-nerbyos.

THEN
NOW

Peace, lovelies.
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Temporary No Smoking

Isang paunawa na naaninagan ko--at nagpabilis sa pintig ng pulso ko--noong June 25, 2008 sa Ninoy Aquino Int'l Airport Cafeteria.

Sa sobrang stress na inabot ng utak ko, nu'ng humatsing ako, may dugo na.

[Sabay tutugtog ang Twilight Zone theme sa background.]
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Ano ang Nangyayari sa Kup*l na Driver? Eto...

Nakuha ko 'to sa isang Y!Group.

Supposedly, may isang [stage]mother na kinukunsinti 'yung anak sa pag-skateboard. Kinuhanan ng video. Eh kaso sa kalagitnaan ng pag-e-exhibition nu'ng bagets, biglang may makabagbag-damdaming ingay ng preno galing sa kung saan. At hindi nila kinaya ang sumunod na eksena. Hindi nila inaasahan kung ano ang ginawa ni lola sa kup*l na driver.

Kaya ang ending, na-forward na nang na-forward sa kung kani-kaninong email.

Pa-convertible-convertible pa, 'di naman makaubra sa matanda. Nyahahaha!

Sabi nga ni Wanda Sykes sa isang stand up n'ya: You shouldn't piss an old lady. Because she doesn't give a f*ck.
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Kung Paanong Muntik Na Akong Mag-Pasko sa DBP-Commonwealth

Siempre hindi naman totoong du'n ako nag-Pasko. Malayo pa naman ang Pasko. Hindi totoo 'yung pronouncement ng isang dating colleague ko na, "August na. -Ber na." Ngarag lang s'ya nu'ng nasambit n'ya 'yun.

Idiotic expression lang 'yun, you know "A group of words that have a specific meaning different from the translation of each individual word making up the expression." 'Yung sinabi kong du'n ako nag-Pasko; hindi 'yung adik-adik na sinabi nu'ng dating colleague.

Pakiramdam ko lang, ganu'n. Hindi 'yung adik na dati kong colleague; ang ibig kong sabihin ay 'yung parang du'n na ako nag-Pasko sa Development Bank of the Philippines - Commonwealth.

Kasi naman dumating ako du'n kanina shortly after 1pm. Magkakamal lang ako ng pera by encashing 'yung tseke na sinweldo ko sa pagiging isang public school teacher. Medyo mainit ang sikat ng araw, at medyo bibo si Manong Driver ng UP-Pantranco. Kaya naman 'yung maligamgam kong ulo eh muntik nang umabot sa boiling point [considering na gawa ito sa lead]. Buti na lang at nakarating muna kami ng Philcoa bago ako nagmistulang rebentador.

Tapos pagdating sa DBP-Commonwealth, as usual:

Ang Angel Of Death Ko Ay Isang "Tuna"

Ang pinaka-common na description ng angel of death ay yung buto at bungo na naka-hood na may bitbit na malaking karet.

'Yung iba ang sabi ay 'yun ang mga kaluluwa ng mga kamag-anak na nauna nang namatay.

Sa film na City of Angels, sila ay mga taong naka-trench coat na kamukha ni Nicolas Cage.

At ayon kay Neil Gaiman, dalagita 'yun na payat, maputla at anime ang buhok.

Para sa 'kin, ang angel of death ay "tuna."

Nalaman ko nung isang araw na may palengke pala sa likod nitong village kung saan ako nakatira. Halos dalawang taon na akong nakatira rito pero nu'n ko lang 'yun nalaman. Kaya pinuntahan ko agad.

Isa sa mga nabili ko ay kalahating kilong "tuna." May quotation marks kasi akala ko tuna.

Hangga't maaari, hindi ako bumibili ng sariwang pagkain sa palengke tulad ng baboy, baka, manok at isda. Hindi ako maarte. Takot lang ako sa sakit dahil mahirap at magastos.

Pero hindi ko malaman kung ano ang pumasok sa isip at nu'ng nakita ko yung malalaking "tuna," eh hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. Siguro kasi paborito ko ang isda. Halos lahat ng klase. Pwede akong hindi makakain ng baboy, baka at manok habambuhay. 'Wag lang fish. Malay ko ba namang ja-jackpot ako.

Kahapon pa lang nahilo na ako matapos kong kainin 'yung buntot na part. Sobrang sakit ng ulo. I thought it was stress kasi medyo ngarag-ngaragan the past few weeks. Akala ko rin nasobrahan ako sa MSG dahil ginamitan ko ng sinigang mix. My head ached na parang minamartilyo. Isang dambulahang martilyo--kasi hindi 'yung sentido ko lang ang masakit. 'Yung buong bungo ko.

I seldom get sick. I can easily feel if something is wrong with me, and I immediately take actions to prevent it from getting worse. So 'yung naramdaman ko yesterday and last night was really terrible. It was new for me. I went to bed, feeling like throwing up and I woke up every thirty minutes or so dahil sa sakit ng ulo. Anyway I survived the night.

This morning when I woke up, I was feeling a little better. So I tried to do a bit of work, watched episode 18 to the finale of the first season of Smallville, did some reading and had lunch. Yup, I had grilled "tuna" with butter and lots of rice for lunch.

Yup, I think I have to concede--the light's on. Sadly, though, no one's home.

Then it started again. My head felt like it was going to explode. It was only then that I realized that I might be having food poisoning. So I made myself throw up. Not a very pretty sight, I know.

Anyway, to cut this pathetic story short, I called my friend Job when I had enough strength [and when I was scared enough that I might die] to dial my cell and talk. I asked him to bring me something for the headache.

When my headache began to subside, and I wasn't feeling nauseous anymore, he told me that maybe what I ate wasn't tuna. Maybe it was tulingan [or skipjack tuna].

Damn! Stupid stupid stupid me. I had always heard that preparing tulingan was tricky. Well at least that was less gross than what I originally thought--that I had tuna soaked in formaldehyde.

Moral of the story: never again will I buy fresh food at the palengke. It just isn't worth it. I would only buy those things frozen and with appropriate and legible labels.

And maybe I'll just stick to bangus.

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Ships' 45 accidents listed: Lloyd's details Sulpicio's 28-year history

Sulpicio Lines should apply for a Guinness for having made the most number of people buy tickets for their own death.

I have always preferred traveling by boat. First time I ever got on a boat was in 1989, on my way to Cotabato City. About a year earlier, MV Dona Paz sank, and supposedly, one of my high school classmates's father died in that tragedy.

But that news didn't stop me from going on-board MV Cotabato Princess. My justification for avoiding airplanes as much as possible has always been: If the plane crashed, I'd surely die because I couldn't fly. But if the boat sank, I could at least try to swim.

But apparently that is crap.

Anyway, here's the very first article I saw on Inquirer when I went online this morning.


By Leila Salaverria
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:39:00 07/13/2008

MANILA, Philippines—Sulpicio Lines Inc., owner of the MV Princess of the Stars that sank off Sibuyan Island in Romblon last month at the height of Typhoon "Frank (international code name: Fengshen)," has a disturbing history.

For the past 28 years, its ships have not only sunk but have also collided with other vessels, caught fire, stalled at sea for several days, and run aground.

The maritime information database www.lloydsmiu.com has recorded incidents involving Sulpicio Lines vessels from 1980 to 2008. The record includes the June 21 sinking of the Princess of the Stars--the seventh sinking incident to involve the shipping company.

In all, Sulpicio Lines has had 45 sea accidents since 1980.

Of the Sulpicio Lines vessels, six have collided with other ships, six have caught fire, seven have had engine problems and stalled at sea, and 19 have run aground.

The deadliest incident was the 1987 sinking of the MV Doña Paz after it collided with the MT Vector. As many as 4,300 people are believed to have died in the worst peacetime disaster in history.

Although the Doña Paz was involved in a collision, the incident was classified as a sinking in the data provided by Lloyd's MIU.

The next deadliest incidents were the sinking of the Doña Marilyn in October 1988 and the Princess of the Orient in September 1998 (with 150 fatalities each), and the Princess of the Stars last month.

At present, only 57 of the 864 people on board the Princess of the Stars have been found alive. Hundreds of bodies are believed trapped inside the ill-fated ship that left Manila for Cebu City.

Reached on the phone, Sulpicio Lines lawyer Arthur Lim said he had no comment.

No casualties

Another sinking incident involved the Sulpicio Container I (1980), with no casualties.

There were also no casualties reported in the six collisions involving Sulpicio Lines vessels--the Palawan Princess, which collided with the MV Wilcon VI at the Manila North Harbor (1992); the Filipina Princess, with a Uni-Modest vessel at the entrance of the Manila North Harbor (1993); the Iloilo Princess, with the MV Solid Pearl near the Manila North Harbor (1997); the Sulpicio Container V, with the MV Asia Malaysia at Fort San Pedro, Iloilo (2000); the Princess of Paradise, with the MV LSC Cagayan de Oro off Cebu (2003); and the Sulpicio Express Dos, with the tank barge Golden Arowana 3 off Corregidor (2005).

The six Sulpicio Lines vessels reported to have caught fire were the Philippine Princess (1989); the Princess of the Orient, then refueling at the Manila North Harbor (1997); the Dipolog Princess, then undergoing repair at Pier 7 in Cebu (2000); the Tacloban Princess, then docked in Ormoc, and where two people died (2002); the Iloilo Princess, then docked at Pier 4 in Cebu (2003); and the Princess of the World, then at sea off Siocon, Zamboanga del Norte (2005).

The seven incidents of vessels being stalled at sea involved the Filipina Princess, whose engine broke down twice (in November 1992 and March 1996); the Cotabato Princess, whose engine also broke down twice (July 2002 and March 2004); and the Princess of the Ocean, whose engine encountered problems three times (October 2002, March 2004 and June 2007).

The Sulpicio Lines vessels that ran aground were the Doña Paulina (1980); Don Victoriano I (1982); Sulpicio Container X (1986); Philippine Princess (1990 and 1997); Palawan Princess (1990 and 1995); Cagayan Princess (1990); Surigao Princess (1996); Princess of the Caribbean (1998); Tacloban Princess (1999); Cotabato Princess (2001); Dipolog Princess (2003 and 2007); Cebu Princess (2003); Princess of Paradise (2003); Princess of the Pacific (2004); Filipina Princess (2006); and the Princess of the Universe (2006).

'Correct but incomplete'

According to data earlier provided by Philippine Coast Guard sources, Lloyd's MIU has recorded 33 maritime incidents involving the vessels of Sulpicio Lines from 1980 to 2008. A source said the information came from maritime industry insiders.

When validated by Inquirer Research, Lloyd's MIU investigations/research manager Arne Hanssen said the data were "correct, but incomplete."

With Hanssen's comments, the total number of maritime accidents involving Sulpicio Lines ships rose from 33 to 45.

Lloyd's MIU said that:

The sinking of the MV Doña Paz in December 1987 led to the loss of "more than 2,000 people."

The Princess of the Stars "sank off Sibuyan Island after grounding, following engine trouble, [leaving] 150 dead and 700 missing."

The other ships that sank were the MV Carmen in 1987 and the Boholana Princess in December 1990.

300-year history

According to its website, Lloyd's MIU has "a 300-year-old history in providing information to the maritime world."

It provides data on vessel movement, ownership, characteristics and casualties, as well as port information and in-depth company information.

Lloyd's MIU data are published online, and in books and magazines. The data are compiled from various sources, including Lloyd's Agency Network of 700 agents and sub-agents, leading registries and classification societies and major company registries all over the world.

Its principal offices are located in the United Kingdom, the United States and Singapore. It employs its roster of analysts and researchers in Athens, Barcelona, Mumbai and Vancouver.
With a report from Kate Pedroso, Inquirer Research

Copyright 2008 Philippine Daily Inquirer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

News source after the jump.
Click the pix for their sources.
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Jabba The Futt Slutt Strikes Again

Humirit na naman 'yung majobese na journalist kuno aka Malu Fernandez aka The Blob aka Jabba The Futt Slutt.

S'ya 'yung bumalaj sa ating mga abang OFW. Ngayong naman ang tinitira n'ya ay 'yung mga blogger.

HAHRRR! Nakakainit ng dugo itong walking cholesterol na ito. Nagkakalat ng sebo.

Eh kinangina/tinangama naman 'yung Manila Standard, ipinrint pa.

Heniwey, baka alam n'yo na rin naman dahil panis na 'tong article na 'to. Just the same, here it is.

Wait! Lilinawin ko lang: Opo, sandamakmak po talaga ang ellipses, 'yung ellipsis sa title ay APAT na tuldok, at non sequitur ang mga argumento. Sus! Saan ba nag-grade one ito? At wala bang editor na tumingin man lang sa "article" n'ya?

* * *

The problem with blogging....
By Malu Fernandez

Just this morning I got a text telling me to check out some blog with juicy gossip about the so called “Gucci Gang” curiously enough I logged on and read all the gossip and juicy details. Whether or not the stories were true I didn’t really care to find out nor do I care to be involved. It makes no difference in my life who did what to whom it was just a leisure gossip read and I was just one of the many people who read the blog but halfway through I became quite disturbed as it made me reminiscent of the numerous blogs I was once the hot topic of.

Before I go any further I must stress the point that this is not about my previous issue, but simply the point of view of someone who has been a victim of vicious blogging and blogging as a new communication medium. To those of you who are mass/volume or dense (that’s the physics formula for density to those who are clueless) again, I repeat this is not a reaction toward my past actions.

So let me continue, first of all I believe in the freedom of speech. By all means say what you need to say. Unfortunately for most of the bloggers without advertising you get paid nothing. If in fact you do get paid then hooray for you. But blogging, aside from Perez Hilton and the other big time bloggers (you know who you are) is for me a slacker job or a medium and pastime for lonely people to connect. Unless you’re in bloody Siberia or in a Gulag prison, try stepping outside your comfort zone and turn off the laptop or pc, you just might find some real live people to talk to instead of typing away in cyber space.

On the flipside blogging can be a good source of information and a great way to exchange ideas. This I strongly encourage whether it is about politics, fashion, food or whatever topic you may choose. Friendly and healthy discussions are always great.

The difference between a journalist and a blogger is that journalists have to adhere to certain guidelines that govern the freedom of speech. And whatever a journalist chooses to write about—be it popular or unpopular—we do not hide behind an anonymous name and are resigned to the fact that we have to take as much as we dish out. However, I simply detest people who place vicious comments and slanderous statements in blogs yet sign their messages as ‘anonymous.’ If you have something to say, don’t hide behind a false name. It’s just plain cowardice of you to do so. I have more of a deep sense of respect for those—however unpopular or vicious their statements are—who post their views with their real names and make no bones about it. At least they stand for something; I would rather take it from them than the cowards that hide behind false names.

Perhaps it is the Filipino culture to foster backstabbing because they never mean what they say face to face. Just how many times have you dealt with co-workers who will smile in your face when you ask them to perform a task or engage in just plain conversation, when in fact they are quite uncomfortable with the situation and are forced to do what they absolutely detest with a smiling face. I guess it’s the kind of culture brought about by 300 years of Spanish colonization. To one particular blogger of Spanish descent but with an Indio face, don’t act like a peninsulares and quote Spanish words from the generation of your abuelita... jeez and they call me elitist. The Spanish rule is over, get over yourself and your Español relatives who used to have power... but I digress (oops, my bad...) Let’s move forward.

It’s just like all this hullabaloo about ousting GMA. You deposed ERAP in Edsa Dos. Now you’re unhappy with his replacement. Make up your minds. (For the record I’m not pro anybody I’m pro whatever lesser evil is out there). You can’t overthrow one president then decide you made a mistake with your second choice. I’s not like buying a green Hermes bag and suddenly deciding, oops I should have gotten the black one instead. Unfortunately that’s the kind of nation we have become, a bunch of wishy-washy whiners who whine about everything under the sun and found the blog sphere to be the new medium for whining. Yes we do what we have to do as a nation to get things done and stop corruption and evil (I’m all for that) but we never seem to be happy with what we have, hence the complaining and whining. It just never stops.

I suppose I started some kind of trend by eliciting nasty comments and reactions via blog because of my indiscretion. But it seems to be a comfortable medium for people to vent their anger on just about everything they disagree with. I have been called an irresponsible journalist so what does that make you? It is easy to hide under the guise of anonymity you can say just about anything you want because you have no repercussions to deal with. It’s easy to hide behind a false moniker isn’t it?

Just a thought to ponder on... Maybe I should start an anonymous blog and really let go... but then again I don’t want to be responsible for World War Three and I would sleep much better being brutally honest in your face than hide behind an anonymous name. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I started a blog just to shake things up and got a ton of money in advertising? If I do decide to do that I thank you all in advance for inspiring me… I’m always a glass half full kinda girl anyway...

GMA Q&A

Nakuha ko 'to sa isang mailing list. Eh ayaw iluwa yung bilyones na nakurakot, tapos ayaw pang bumaba sa pwesto. Kaya laitin na lang natin. Duh?!

1) "Eh di wala na!", ito ang sagot ni Gloria sa tanong na:
a) "Nasan na po ang pera ng bayan?"
b) "May pagtatalik pa bang nagaganap sa inyo ni Mike?"
c) "May pag-asa pa po ba kayong tumangkad?"

2) Sa litratong ito, si Gloria ay:
a) Contestant sa Little Miss Philippines
b) Contestant sa Miss Gay Pampanga
c) Contestant sa Little Miss Gay Pampanga

3) Ang sigaw ni Gloria ay:
a) "Darna!"
b) "Kokey!"
c) "Hindi ako pahuhuli ng buhay! Yessss!"

4) Galit si Gloria dahil:
a) sinasabihan pala siya ng mga alipores niya na "luckiest bitch around"
b) kamukha nya si Candy Pangilinan sa litratong ito
c) hindi sya galit, ino-audition lang nya ng "walaaaang himalaaaa!"

5) Sagot ni Gloria ay ganito nang tanungin sya ng:
a) "Ok ka lang ate?"
b) "Paano kayo nanalo sa election?"
c) "Gaano kalaki ang butas ng puwet ni Mike?"

6) Sa litratong ito, si Gloria ay:
a) nasa prayer meeting
b) bigatin sa Wowowee o tumataktak sa Eat Bulaga
c) gustong sumagot sa tanong ng guro

7) Sa larawang ito, si Gloria ay:
a) nangangati ang leeg dahil sa buni
b) may isinesenyas sa mga militar na kailangang patahimikin
c) pinapaalis 'yung angel sa kanang balikat

8) Nakapikit si Gloria dahil:
a) may na-amoy na mabango
b) may na-amoy na mabaho
c) may na-amoy na pera

9) Ang larawan ito ay kinuha noong:
a) debut nya
b) JS Prom nya
c) sumali sya sa Little Miss Gay Pampanga

10) Ang daliring ito ang kanyang:
a) pinang-kukulangot
b) pinang aaliw sa sarili
c) pandutdot sa puwet ng kanyang asawa

11) Bad trip na naman sya dahil:
a) may nagtanong tungkol sa height nya
b) may nagtanong kung kapatid nya si Nora
c) hindi niya kayang ipaligpit ang lahat ng mga nagtatanong

12) Pinapakita ni Gloria na:
a) nakaboto na sya
b) naipit ang daliri nya sa pinto ng doll house
c) violet ang kulangot nya

13) "Apat" ang sagot ni Gloria ng tanungin sya kung:
a) ilang talampakan sya
b) ilang centimeters ang kay Mike
c) ilang utong meron sya

My Way Deaths, Urban Legend No More

Last night my nephew was watching the local news on TV when I overheard the story about a guy getting killed at a videoke bar while he was singing the deadly My Way. I don't remember much of it except that when My Way started playing, the victim took the mic from someone. And then that someone got pissed and killed him.

I thought it was just a funny urban legend. Apparently I was wrong. People really get killed because of My Way. It's absurd.

It may sound insensitive, but i think it's a stupid way to die. So stupid it deserves a Darwin.