Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Am A Chocolate Cake


You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly.
You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality.
People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tarot Reading

First off, a couple of disclaimers: I know it's Ash Wednesday today (I hope everyone found time to go to mass today). I am also aware that it's very un-Christian to be consulting the stars and the cards for my future. Blah blah blah.

I honestly don't know why I do this. Deep inside I don't feel that there's anything wrong with it. It's not as if I'm entrusting my life and my future on what tarot cards say. I am presently at a crossroad. My journey has opened up for me some opportunities. I know I could stay on familiar grounds. But I also feel that soon, it will cease to bring happiness and excitement. That sooner or later, the feeling of leaving and making a turn somewhere will nag me again.

New roads have presented themselves to me. Whatever I do I will have to choose which one to traverse next. Each road as good as the next. Opportunities are there, waiting to be explored.

It's exciting--so exciting, in fact, that it's already bordering on being frightening.

Change has always set my pulse running. My hands are shaking with anticipation. And my mouth, almost watering.

Anyways, without further ado, here's what the cards say about my working at an ad agency in March.

Ace of Pentacles
in the Past position.

A card in the left position indicates what has happened to affect your question in the past.

You have been given a resource. Use it well and be grateful.

Six of Wands
in the Present position.
A card in the middle position indicates what is affecting your question at this time.

Acknowledgement of accomplishments. Victory parade. Accolades, admirers, and gratitude. Respect of one¹s peers. Contributing ideas to a group project or cause. Leadership and established reputation. Good standing. Recognized authority. Having the confidence of the community. A success being more than one had hoped for. A sense of satisfaction. An original, daring thought brings victory. Honours.

in the Future position.

A card in the right position indicates your questions future.

Evolution. Change, death, and transformation. A natural end to a situation, whether it be positive or negative; for example, the card may refer to the end of a relationship, illusion, financial source, or the completion of a project. Closure. Releasing of the past. The end of an era. Necessary change. Freedom that allows for renewal. Sudden change brings fears of the unknown, but ultimately alters life in such a way as to initiate new growth. May mean death, a fear of death, or a brush with death. Natural course and progression of life. Lastly, Death is sometimes portrayed as a beautiful and dignified figure since dying can be seen as a blessing in release from suffering.

Anyways, just to give credit where it's due, please click here for the source.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

i miss my bed

i don't like whining. but today i will make an exception.

i miss my bed, my house, my mother, her house, our dog, and having a life.

i've been spending way too much time at work.

i know that there are people who stay at work longer, who do more work, blah-blah-blah.

but that's not the point. i think i'm spending too much time at work. that's it. that's how i see it. that's how i feel.

it's not a problem for me, really. i like what i'm doing so much that most of the time, i'm oblivious of the time. i'm almost always surprised that it's already friday when it seems like it was only monday or tuesday when i checked last.

(this is not going anywhere.)

yet, somehow, i have this weird feeling that i am not at all appreciated. or, probably, i am made to feel like my efforts are unwanted.

* * *

the stage is dark.

and the spotlight is focused on the scars and blemishes--
blinding everyone to everything else.

no flowers, no applause for this jester.

method acting, my ass.

the audience is waiting
and expecting.

the non-paying kibitzers,
watching through frosted glass
and over plastic cages
are critical
and waiting--more like praying for
or preying on--
a missed beat
an ad lib
a skipped line

or an impromptu laughter.

the brows are raised
and the claws--unsheathed

ready to pounce on the slightest--read: nonexistent--

all in the name of fictional maternal instincts.

this stage has turned into an operating table
on which i--or the specimen i have become--am lying down.

my head and chest and groin have been cut, opened and spread

i lost my humanity the moment i looked
and let myself be led
onto that sacrificial table
where no soul has ever been saved.

with the last strand of self-respect
i will sew myself up again.

and stand up.

proud. like before.

Sex Makes People Healthy, Cheerful, Strong, Beautiful and Sleepy

I found an interesting article about sex and its benefits.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

samwise' first pix

samwise has been with us for only a month. yet his size has already tripled.

these are his first pictures. taken earlier today.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

advance deathbed musings

it's been thirty one days, twenty hours and forty seven minutes since the beginning of two thousand and seven.

so much for "making the year 2007 last longer than 2006."

that was the only new years resolution i had the guts to make, and i can't even be true to it.

this year might just slip through my fingers without my knowing it.

i'm scared of going to bed tonight (or tomorrow morning). i'm afraid that when i wake up, i'd find that 2007 is already over.

i don't know what's wrong with me. now, it's so important for me to make each day last. to relish every second. to savor every breath. to feel the air around me.

i may not do anything important, i may not discover the cure for aids (or genetic stupidity), but at least i know how i'm wasting my time.

i don't want to grow old and look back and wonder how i spent my youth. of course, it would be great to look back and know that you did really amazing things. but i'm a simple man. i have no illusions of greatness.

knowing i've gone to mts. banawe and sagada, boracay, vigan, et cetera is good enough for me.

going to more places like pagudpod, batanes and guimaras, wasting away in bed reading my favorite books, or being a couch potato for several days watching my favorite movies and series on dvd's, or learning new recipes, or making my own furnitures, or chatting and having coffee with good friends, dining with my mom and siblings, writing scripts that may or may not get produced, dramas that may or may not get staged, fictions and poems that may or may not get published, or having sex for days on end are good memories to look back at.

i just wish that when i finally do something about this, i'd still have enough time.