Saturday, March 11, 2006

even crammers get the blues

i always wonder: why is it always so hard to just start working? no, not just "working," it's more like, writing?

based on my experience, it's always easy for me to start doing something--like, doing the laundry, or buying something, or paying the bills.

but with writing, it always takes me hours and hours just to muster enough courage to type the first letter. or being sure of the first word. or being confident that the first sentence makes sense.

and i always end up noticing how dusty the pc monitor is. so i clean it. then the work station will suddenly look too cluttered. and before i know it, i have already cleaned the whole house.

then, i will feel like writing finally. but then, i am already exhausted.

so i will have to rest and wait for the following day.

and, somehow, i have this weird notion that i already have a headstart since i am finished with all the dilly-dallying. then, lo and behold, another day comes, i sit in front of my pc, i find it difficult to press the first key, so my eyes wander to look for something new to clean.

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