Alex and his PSP

Inseparable.
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Sam's Pretty Piglets

Original photo not mine. Just ripped it, and Lomo-ed it.
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Stuck sa Traffic at Ulan

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A Few Parting Words for Mikki

Thanks for the standards, blues, jazz; thanks for Fitzgerald, Legrand, Streisand; thanks for the good food, the fun company, the fine wine; thanks for the time, the effort, the patience; thanks for a million other things.

I don't know if you were aware how grateful I am that our paths crossed, if only for a short while.

I wish we actually made contact like we promised to after we had bumped into each other on September 15. I wish we stopped and talked a bit longer then. I wish I gave you a surprise visit every time I passed by the village where you lived, instead of just thinking about it.

I wish that even for a split second, I was able to make you feel special.

We hardly saw each other the last several years. But it was all right. We were just a phone call away from each other. Now, it's different. What pains me is the thought I will never see you again.

You laughed out loud, you sang great songs, you touched people's lives. May you have a safe journey home. It will take a while before we see each other again. But when the time comes, I hope you will recognize me. Because I'd surely want us to be friends still.

Goodbye is most difficult when you know you're saying it for the last time.

Goodbye, Mikki. I miss you already.

Remembering Ondoy : Baha ni Juan [o, Ang Patuloy na Paghahanap sa mga Nawawalang Tsinelas]

Ngayon ang unang anniversary ng Ondoy-- ang bagyong nanalanta sa Metro Manila at maraming lugar sa Luzon. Umaga nang September 26, 2009, Linggo, tumigil ang oras, umihip ang hangin, bumuhos ang ulan, tumaas ang tubig. Maraming nalagay sa panganib, may mga nakaligtas, mayroon din namang 'di pinalad.

May ilang nakabangon nang mabilis. Pero marami ang hanggang ngayon, makalipas ang isang taon, tila nakalubog pa rin ang mga paa sa baha at burak.

Mabilis daw magpatawad / makalimot ang Pinoy. Sana 'di sa pagkakataong ito. Dahil ayon sa sabi-sabi: ang 'di matuto sa kasaysayan, uulit-ulitin ang kamalian.

Larawang kuha sa baha sa Pasig, 30 September 2009.

Ang teksto sa ibaba ay para sana sa opening ng aming Ondoy Photo Exhibit. Sinulat ko ilang linggo makalipas ang Ondoy.

Bahâ Ni Juan
[O Ang Patuloy Na Paghahanap Sa Mga Nawawalang Tsinelas]

Inagos na’t inanod
Ang putik at burak;
Itinambak sa likod
Ng kamalayan at ng utak
Kasama ng tubig-kanal,
Basura, at masasamang alaala.

Pero si Mang Juan--
Hanggang sa mga oras na ‘to--
Ay mahigpit pa ring yapós
Ang mga tsinelas na walang kapares;
Hinahanap ang nawawalang kapares

Sa mga karton at yerong
Nakatambak sa kanto,
Sa mga evacuation center,
Sa kulungan, sa munisipyo,
Sa ospital, sa morge, sa sementeryo.

‘Yung isang tsinelas ay sa kinakasamang si Minda
[Hindi pa sila kasál dahil sa isang buwan pa sana
Ang mass wedding na ipa-public service ni Mayor],
‘Yung isa’y kay Jing-Jing
‘Yung isa’y kay Jun-Jun.
Si Mac-Mac ay tatlong taon pa lang
Kaya kinakarga muna
Dahil ‘di pa nila kayang ibili ng sariling sapin sa paa.
Ang bunso ay nasa tiyan pa ni Minda.

Ang huling paalam ng mag-iina
Ay makikinood lang ng Wowowee sa kapitbahay.
Hinubad nila ang tsinelas bago tumuntong sa magalás na sahig.

‘Di na nila namalayan nang tangayin ng bahâ
Ang tsinelas nila.

Sa tambak ng mga putik na hugis-kaldero,
Hugis-damit, hugis-inidoro,
Hugis-aparador, hugis-lababo,
Hugis-tao--
Natagpuan ni Mang Juan
Ang mga tsinelas ng kanyang mag-iina.
Walang kapares. Ulila.

Kaya’t magpahanggang-ngayon--
Ilang linggo nang naitambak ang mga putik at burak
Sa likod ng isip, sa ilalim ng utak
Kasama ng EDSA Uno at EDSA Dos
Kasama ng mga pangakong napapáko tuwing eleksyon

Patuloy pa rin si Mang Juan
Sa paghahanap sa mga nawawalang kapares
Ng mga tsinelas nina Minda, Jing-Jing, at Jun-Jun
Dahil baka bukas-makalawa
Pagkatapos ng Wowowee, uuwi ang kanyang mag-iina
Walang maisusuot na sapin sa paa.

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Raf's Birthday

Intimate and exclusive celebration of friend / neighbor Raf's birthday, last night, at Vina's unit.

Vina, Beng, Raf

birthday boy

Cenón, Raf

Beng... ANU daw?!

pilít na ngiti ng hostess

kunwari nag-e-enjoy

heto na si kaka
... [ituloy ang bugtong]

kasama si Cleopatra bilang proxy ni Raf

ang walang kamatayang bunny ears

family portrait

family portrait ulit

family portrait na naman

habeerdi!

lumalabas na ang totoong nararamdaman ng mga bisita

parang isa lang ang totoong masaya

nguso kung nguso

Vina: Beng, gusto mong advil?
Beng: Hindi. Pengeng baril.

kumbaga sa kwento, eto ang setup...

...ang rising action...

...at ang climax / final confrontation...

...tapos ay ang dénouement.

yey... ang saya-saya ng birthday...

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I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Ways To Say F@(%@#$*!!!

photo by Jerome P. Pabalan

1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"
2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"
3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
5. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"
8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"
9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left"
10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"
11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"
12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"
13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control"
14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed"
15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?"
16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"
19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"
21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"
22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."
27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
29. "Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done."
30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."
31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
32. "Earth is full. Go home."
33. "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"
34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."
37. "If ass holes could fly, this place would be an airport

Emailed by a friend a few years ago. Not mine. Just sharing.
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Simpatiya Para Sa 'Yo

Kakatapos lang ng bagyong Ondoy at rumaragasa pa ang bagyong Pepeng, daan-daan ang mga namatay at nawawala, at daang-libo ang nagsisiksikan sa mga evacuation center. Patuloy sa pagtaas ang presyo ng mga bilihin dahil na rin sa pananamantala ng ilang negosyante. Buong bansa ang inilagay ni Gloria sa state-of-calamity, at maraming nagdududa kung hindi ba n'ya ito gagamitin para mapabilis ang pagnanakaw niya sa kaban ng bayan. Patuloy ang korupsyon, ang paghihirap, ang pang-aabuso...

...At ngayon ka pa talaga sumabay na humingi ng simpatiya dahil hindi mo alam kung ano ang gagawin mo sa buhay mo, kung patuloy kang mag-aaral, o kung magta-trabaho ka na, at kung anong klaseng trabaho, pagkatapos mong maka-graduate ng college?

Umamin ka-- adik ka 'no?

Valid ang takot mo, at hindi pwedeng i-dismiss 'yun nang ganu'n-gano'n na lang. At sa maniwala ka't sa hindi, karamihan-- kundi man lahat-- ay dumaraan d'yan. Pero 'wag mong isiping ikaw ang pinakakawawang nilalang sa mundo dahil hirap na hirap ka na dahil hindi mo alam kung ano ang meaning ng life o kung ano ang gusto mong gawin. 'Wag mo ring isiping walang nakakaintindi sa 'yo. 'Yung mga taong inaakusahan mong hindi nakakaintindi sa 'yo, kaya nilang magsulat ng buong libro tungkol sa 'yo.

Pero lawakan mo naman sana, kahit konti man lang, ang pananaw mo sa buhay. Tigilan mo muna ang pagtingin sa sarili mo at sa sarili mo lang. Ilagay mo ang sarili mo sa mundo, sa panahon ngayon, bilang isang mamamayan ng isang third world na bansa.

Matakot ka kung ano ang bukas na naghihintay sa 'yo. Mag-alala ka kung makakasabay ka ba sa mabilis na agos ng buhay. Pero tumingin ka rin sa paligid mo. Ilagay mo ang sarili mo sa tamang konteksto. At tigilan mo na ang kase-self pity at kaiisip na *Gaaahd! Nobody understands me! Life is useless and meaningless and everyone who thinks otherwise is stupid I'm the only one who knows the truth and I'm the protagonist and everybody else is just a prop and extra in this movie set I call life!*

Shut up ka muna kahit ngayon lang. Next week pagkatapos ng mga bagyo, kung gusto mong mag-inarte ulit at patuloy na humingi ng simpatiya, bahala ka. 'Wag lang muna ngayon. Dahil nakakairita ka.
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REPOST: DO'S & DON'TS for Helping in Times of Disasters: Psychological First Aid

The following text is lifted from a Facebook note [source after the jump]:

Sometimes, well-meaning help can do more harm than good. This article gives us DO's and DON'TS tips that could help volunteers maximize the assistance they offer.

If we have first aid for physical injuries and diseases, we also have first aid for emotional, cognitive and behavioural difficulties. Others even consider psychological distress as more painful than the physical.

First responders could be used in generic terms as those who are first on the scene of the disaster when no or few specialists are available to help survivors. As we have seen at the height of “Ondoy” and until now, this means almost anybody who extends help.

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Psychological First Aid for First Responders

When you work with people during and after a disaster, you are working with people who may be having reactions of confusion, fear, hopelessness, sleeplessness, anxiety, grief, shock, guilt, shame, and loss of confidence in themselves and others. Your early contacts with them can help alleviate their painful emotions and promote hope and healing. Your goal in providing this psychological first aid is to promote an environment of safety, calm, connectedness, self-efficacy, empowerment, and hope.

DO

Promote Safety
o Help people meet basic needs for food and shelter, and obtain emergency medical attention.
o Provide repeated, simple, and accurate information on how to get these basic needs.

Promote Calm
o Listen to people who wish to share their stories and emotions, and remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel.
o Be friendly and compassionate even if people are being difficult.
o Offer accurate information about the disaster or trauma, and the relief efforts underway to help victims understand the situation.

Promote Connectedness
o Help people contact friends and loved ones.
o Keep families together. Keep children with parents or other close relatives whenever possible.

Promote Self-Efficacy
o Give practical suggestions that steer people toward helping themselves.
o Engage people in meeting their own needs.

Promote Help
o Find out the types and locations of government and nongovernment services and direct people to those services that are available.
o When they express fear or worry, remind people (if you know) that more help and services are on the way.

DON’T

o DON'T Force people to share their stories with you, especially very personal details. This may decrease calmness in people who are not ready to share their experiences.

o DON'T Give simple reassurances like “everything will be OK” or “at least you survived.” Statements like these tend to decrease calmness.

o DON'T Tell people what you think they should be feeling, thinking, or how they should have acted earlier. This decreases self-efficacy or people’s belief about their capacity to positively deal with difficulties.

o DON'T Tell people why you think they have suffered by alluding to personal behaviors or beliefs of victims. (Note: For example, “Pinaparusahan ‘yan ng Diyos!” This also discourages people from viewing themselves as capable of dealing with their situation).

o DON'T Make promises that may not be kept. Un-kept promises decreases hope.

o DON'T Criticize existing services or relief activities in front of people in need of these services. This undermines environment of hope and calm.

Sources:
o Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) of the US Dept. of Health and Human Services (HHS). http://download.ncadi.samhsa.gov/ken/pdf/katrina/Psychological.pdf
o http://www.usuhs.mil/psy/CTCPsychologicalFirstAid.pdf
o http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/
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Ang Ma-Stranded Kasama Ng Isang Tutubi

Dahil sa lakas ng hagupit ng bagyong Ondoy, stranded ako sa bahay.

Maginaw, tahimik at madilim.

Pero okay lang. 'Di naman ako nag-iisa.

Kanina, pagsilip ko sa labas ng bintana, may nakita akong isang tutubi na nakakapit sa dingding. Basang-basa. Binuksan ko 'yun bintana para makapasok s'ya. Para 'di na s'ya mabasa. Pero tumingin lang s'ya sa 'kin. Napansin siguro n'yang nakatingin kasi ako sa kanya. Kaya nagtinginan na lang kami.

Bihirang-bihira na lang akong makakita ng tutubi. Nu'ng maliit pa 'ko, lagi kaming nanghuhuli ng tutubi ng mga kalaro ko. Iba't ibang klase. 'Yung tutubing karayom ay madaling mamatay. Kung 'di maingat ang paghuli at paghawak, mapuputol 'yung katawan. 'Yung regular sized na kulay berde ay common. At 'yung kulay asul ay rare.

'Pag takipsilim, naglalabasan 'yung kulay maroon ng luminous at mas malaki nang konti sa regular sized na berde at asul na tutubi. 'Pag naglalabasan sila, kumpul-kumpol. Marami. Parang ulap sa kalsada. Mababa at mabagal ang lipad, pero mahirap hulihin.

At ang pinakamalaking tutubi ay yung tutubing kalabaw. Kulay berde. Rare at mahirap hulihin.

Noong maliit pa 'ko, lagi kaming nanghuhuli ng mga tutubi ng mga kalaro ko. Paramihan. Nilalagay namin sa bote. Inaalog para makita kung nahihilo rin ba sila. Ginugupitan ng pakpak para malaman kung makakalipad pa rin kahit putot na. Inoopera para makita kung ano ang meron sa katawan nila na hugis helicopter.

Marami akong nahuling tutubi. Kami ng mga kalaro ko.

Ngayon bihira na 'kong makakita ng tutubi. Nakahanap na siguro sila ng pagtataguan. O baka naubos na namin sila.

Kahapon pa malakas ang hagupit ng bagyong Ondoy. Stranded tuloy ako sa bahay ngayon. Malamig, tahimik at madilim. Pero okay lang kahit nag-iisa lang ako. Dahil hindi naman talaga ako nag-iisa. Dalawa kaming nag-iisa. Kami nu'ng tutubi.
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Inx's Birthday

Lunch with Inx's for his birthday. And coffee with Gerry afterwards.

After we finished our undergrad, we saw less and less of each other. Like, once a year, or once every 2 years.

Greenbelt 3, Makati
18 September 2009

Lunch with Inx's. I was so good at playing innocent na birthday n'ya that he eventually had to tell/remind me *birthday ko ngayon!*

Nyaha!

[Burp! Salamat sa lunch.]

Coffee, and yosi, afterwards.

- Gerry, busy ka? Punta ka rito.
- Kakatapos lang meeting. Dami ko pang ginagawa e.
- Birthday ni Inx's.
- [beat]
- Intayin n'yo 'ko.

Picture-picture!-- Xe, Gerry, and Pisngi ni Inx's [yes, kasama sa billing 'yun].

Pero ito talaga ang normal na mukha ni Birthday Boy 'pag nawawala sa isip n'ya na Birthday Boy nga pala s'ya.

Happy Birthday, Inx's :D
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Happy 4th Birthday to Sam!

Samantha Kyle, the only girl among the five great grand children, turns four today.

Manaoag trip, January 2008. Samantha was only 2 years and 4 months old.

Four generations of women in the family, all panganays [except for Sam who's bunso, but since she's an only girl that counts, too]-- Ina, Ate Dinah, Bethel, and Sam.

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Night Out with SB Friends / Neighbors

Rare night out with SB friends / neighbors. Last time I went out with them was in 2008, before Sausage Bar closed down, and re-opened, and... Ewan lang kung bukas pa rin until now.

Treehouse - Matalino
09 September 2009

Vina and Raf hamming it up for the camera

That's me, Vina, Raf, Beng... and Beng's back

Attorney Jun and Beng

Vina... and sorry. Kasama pala dapat si Raf sa pic. Ahihi!

Finally, nakasama rin ako sa picture.

The Beng and I. Nyahaha! Gosh, I'm so funny. Syet.

Fine. Sige, kayong tatlo na lang lagi. Next time, 'di na 'ko magdadala ng camera.

Isa pa, with Raf.

At syempre, 'di pwedeng mawala ang solo shot ni Sir Jules.

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