bits on vincent, the 80's, and the peak of komiks

i saw a friend's blog about how much she had loved a particular series on komiks. i got excited, and post a very long reply. here it is--typo errors and all. i just asterisked the names.

damn! grabe, ****, paborito ko rin 'yung series na 'yun. as in pag nagbabakasyon ako with my ate who used to live right beside sa talipapa ng pepin st sa sampaloc, nauubos ang allowance ko kaka-renta ng komiks sa sari-sari store. at pinagtitiyagaan ko ang bantot ng palengke matapos ko lang basahin yung weekly (naging twice weekly ata sila) issue nun.

nasa dulo ng dila ko yung title. if i'm not mistaken it's a play on "lucifer" and "archangel gabriel." wild guesses: lucifer gabriel. whatever.

anyways, eto na... siempre, maliban sa anna lisa at flordeluna (yaikkks! 80's ang labanan) wala pa namang telenovela, fantaserye, chever-chever at kung anu-ano pang genre na naiimbento (to the point na 1 show / program per genre na halos. anyways...), ang sinusundan-sundan, ang idol eh not so much the direk, the writer, the channel. and kalaban ng mga artista sa mga fans ay ang mga... komiks writers and artists. ilan sa mga names na naalala ko right now are: mar t. santana (artist), zoila (writer), at siempre sina helen meriz at nerissa cabral (writers; whose works on komiks got translated to film. if i'm not mistaken, sa kanila yung "nagbabagang luha" at "pati ba pintig ng puso").

pero ang super-duper-mega idel ko ay walang iba kundi si vincent kua, jr. i had the chance to meet him sa ilang pagkakataon sa star cinema at abs-cbn noong matatapos na ang dekada '90 at sa pagsisimula ng ikatlong siglo. sobrang bait at unassuming. sa dinami-dami ng napatunayan niya, pero man lang hint ng hanging habagat kapag kausap mo siya. grabe.

sadly, though, according to a friend, he passed away na around 2 or 3 years ago, i'm not sure. hindi ko pa nako-confirm.

he was both a writer and an illustrator. i know of some people na sinusundan din yung works niya sa komiks. and remember him, and his works, until now. and he experimented sa konsepto ng sinusulat niya at illustrations.

teka, bakit nga ba ako naparatrat ng ganito? eh kasi sobra akong na-excite dahil dito sa entry mo sa blog about this lucifer-gabriel twist. KASI SI VINCENT KUA JR ANG NAGSULAT AT NAG-ILLUSTRATE NUN! (bakit kailangang sumigaw?)

you can ask *** and *** (fans din sila ni vincent) kung ano nga talaga yung title nung series na yun. and wala lang, but might i add, isa sa high points ng buhay ko nung makapagpa-picture ako with him. :)))))

bakit ba ang hilig mong magpatawa?

komo ba kalbo ka, feeling mo nakakatawa ka na?

tamanatamanaTAMANA!

up cmc: 100 for 100 grand bingo... sosyal!

ey boys and gels,

the up college of mass communication is holding a fund raising activity for the... ahem... infrastructure development fun and the faculty and staff development fund, entitled:

100 for 100 grand bingo social
(title pa lang ibang level na, 'di ba? so... unique)
it will be on november 24 / saturday
2 - 5pm
at the up cmc parking lot

p100 / ticket which is equivalent to not just one... not just two... but ten (10) games! a total of p100,000 worth of cash prizes and exciting raffle prizes will be given away to lucky winners. (take note: "exciting")

email me through my personal addy or my up account for your tickets. i can meet you anywhere in u.p. (diliman ha?!), philcoa, and abs-cbn (quezon city).go na para makatulong sa faculty at staff ng u1p cmc. at para makatulong na rin sa akin sa pagdidispatsa ng mga tickets na naka-assign sa akin :D

have you ever felt like you are in a particular place but you don't know exactly where it is?

And you know that 99.9% of the things around you have been there for as long as you can remember, yet you feel they're unfamiliar?

It's like you're seeing things for the first time. It's like you're a virgin in this place.

And that confuses you all the more because you know that what you're feeling is wrong. That it is against all logic that your environment is different when you have memories of yourself being in it the day before.

And it's worse than deja vu. At least with deja vu, you feel like you've been there and done that before.

The discomfort is the same, but the fear of the unknown is greater.

elehiya sa isang kandila

kandilang kumukuti-kutitap
umaandap-andap
sa makapal na karimlam
lumalaban, nakikipagtagisan
sa malakas na bagyong umiihip
bumubuga sa mumunti niyang apoy

hinihigop, sinisinghot
ang lahat ng hanging kayang hingahin

sinisimot ng timawang
mitsa ang kahuli-hulihang
patak ng lusaw na esperma

at bago pa muling sumikat ang araw
wala nang matitira

kundi tumagas na kaluluwa
at marka ng natuyong patak ng luha
kasama ng mga buhok
at kalansay na 'di na makikilala
sa loob ng nitso

mamayang hapon, isang kandila
ang muling sisindihan
sa harap ng aking lapida

--xe061803

i can't think of anything to say

but i feel i need to update this blog somehow.

(come on. i know you love looking at my pix. kidding.)


pulilan river - july 2007 - around 5am.
this is the river that divides the towns of pulilan and plaridel. i passed across it a few weeks ago on my way to quezon city for my 8:30am class. although it's really low-res, i like it. somehow it looks magical. whatever.

nlex - same morning.

hidef orientation - 25 july 2007. some people from the postprod department were giving us a walkthrough on hidef cams. yup, i was listening in between pic-takings.

ccp / baywalk - 22 july 2007 / screening of ned trespeces' trabaho. sunset at the manila bay is still as mesmerizing as ever. just hold your breath.

same afternoon. beautiful.

lost for words...

so here are some of my pix. yipeee!

this is i, taken by jke when we had a late night / early morning lugaw at pilo-timog ave. taken about two weeks ago. tindi ng hair, 'no?


earlier that day, while we were (supposed to be) brainstorming for the new tv drama.


job and i at mcdo. i practically spent the whole night taking pix of myself. isinali ko na din sa isa si job para 'di naman ako masyadong rude.



same night with job at mcdo. i had my head shaved early that day. this pic was taken using my own phone. ang daya kasi nung kay job--may soft focus!



same night. ito ba ang tinatawag na "inaantok na matabang mukha"?

and then morpheus leaves

he must've gotten tired of waiting for his servant

to wake up.

 

a useless channel. a medium

so thick

nothing passes through.

 

a mere merchant

of imagination.

agonizing

over a few meaningless letters

for a plate of dirt.

 

letting his sand

gather dust

and lose potency.

 

morpheus has left

for a greener meadow

a more colorful sunset

a lazier morning

 

a more prolific medium.

a more tenacious weaver

of dreams.

5:49 am

toying with the cam on a friend aileen's pc... at 5:49 in the morning.

this is me (hamming it up for the cam).


and this is dindo (bagsak!) hehehe

not-so-vintage photos...

...of me and frodo!

last quarter of 2002. malate, manila.

tubed xe

According to the the entry on Wikipedia, this is an "Image of a xenon filled discharge tube shaped like the element's atomic symbol."

You Made Me The Thief Of Your Heart

You don't have to be a Sinead O'Connor fan to enjoy this. From the film "In The Name Of The Father" (1994) the music video stars, aside from Sinead, Daniel Day Lewis and Pete Postlethwaite. As for the interrogation scene, it's about eight years ahead of Madonna's "Die Another Day" (2002).

Don't get me wrong. I like Madonna. And "Die Another Day", I think, is a great video, too.

Peace, people. And enjoy.

The Story of Bonnie and Clyde

here's an excerpt from the poem that bonnie parker was supposed to have written shortly before they got killed.

The Story of Bonnie and Clyde

The road was so dimly lighted
There were no highway signs to guide
But they made up their minds if all roads were blind
They wouldn’t give up ‘till they died.

click here for the complete poem.

this is my battle

i did not bring this upon myself.
but if we're going to be technical about it
then, maybe, i did--
by both commission
and omission.

this is my battle.

truce has been used up.
there's no delaying the inevitable.
the lions and the dragons
have been released.
retreating is no longer an option.
it never was.

this is my battle.

i must fight it alone--
without an ally,
without any weapon,
without anything.

this is my battle.

i may not win.
but nobody will leave this arena unscathed.

If it were up to me...

If only.

Psychosomatic Bullshit

I can't move my arms. I can't walk.

 

My back hurts.

My chest hurts.

My heart hurts.

 

I am a bag of lead.

 

My head burns with non-existent fever.

 

I am Atlas. I am the world.

I am carrying myself on my shoulders.

lexicophilia*

my ever-loyal lover who sticks with me through thick and thin.

 

who sleeps with me and make love to me every night. and everytime we think nobody's looking. or, whenever we just feel like doing it. wherever.

 

we wake up together, and kiss right away--morning breaths and all.

 

and hands explore familiar territories hidden under the sheets. our arms, entwined. lips locked.

until i don't know anymore which are my lips, my limbs, my heart.

my soul.

===
* lexicophilia - there is no such word. i just coined it because i couldn't find a more appropriate word / term. hey, if there's anyone out there who's thinking of using this word, let me know first. hah!

I Am A Chocolate Cake

Yey!

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Tarot Reading

First off, a couple of disclaimers: I know it's Ash Wednesday today (I hope everyone found time to go to mass today). I am also aware that it's very un-Christian to be consulting the stars and the cards for my future. Blah blah blah.

I honestly don't know why I do this. Deep inside I don't feel that there's anything wrong with it. It's not as if I'm entrusting my life and my future on what tarot cards say. I am presently at a crossroad. My journey has opened up for me some opportunities. I know I could stay on familiar grounds. But I also feel that soon, it will cease to bring happiness and excitement. That sooner or later, the feeling of leaving and making a turn somewhere will nag me again.

New roads have presented themselves to me. Whatever I do I will have to choose which one to traverse next. Each road as good as the next. Opportunities are there, waiting to be explored.

It's exciting--so exciting, in fact, that it's already bordering on being frightening.

Change has always set my pulse running. My hands are shaking with anticipation. And my mouth, almost watering.

Anyways, without further ado, here's what the cards say about my working at an ad agency in March.

Ace of Pentacles
in the Past position.

A card in the left position indicates what has happened to affect your question in the past.

You have been given a resource. Use it well and be grateful.










Six of Wands
in the Present position.
A card in the middle position indicates what is affecting your question at this time.

Acknowledgement of accomplishments. Victory parade. Accolades, admirers, and gratitude. Respect of one¹s peers. Contributing ideas to a group project or cause. Leadership and established reputation. Good standing. Recognized authority. Having the confidence of the community. A success being more than one had hoped for. A sense of satisfaction. An original, daring thought brings victory. Honours.






Death
in the Future position.

A card in the right position indicates your questions future.

Evolution. Change, death, and transformation. A natural end to a situation, whether it be positive or negative; for example, the card may refer to the end of a relationship, illusion, financial source, or the completion of a project. Closure. Releasing of the past. The end of an era. Necessary change. Freedom that allows for renewal. Sudden change brings fears of the unknown, but ultimately alters life in such a way as to initiate new growth. May mean death, a fear of death, or a brush with death. Natural course and progression of life. Lastly, Death is sometimes portrayed as a beautiful and dignified figure since dying can be seen as a blessing in release from suffering.



Anyways, just to give credit where it's due, please click here for the source.

i miss my bed

i don't like whining. but today i will make an exception.

i miss my bed, my house, my mother, her house, our dog, and having a life.

i've been spending way too much time at work.

i know that there are people who stay at work longer, who do more work, blah-blah-blah.

but that's not the point. i think i'm spending too much time at work. that's it. that's how i see it. that's how i feel.

it's not a problem for me, really. i like what i'm doing so much that most of the time, i'm oblivious of the time. i'm almost always surprised that it's already friday when it seems like it was only monday or tuesday when i checked last.

(this is not going anywhere.)

yet, somehow, i have this weird feeling that i am not at all appreciated. or, probably, i am made to feel like my efforts are unwanted.

* * *

the stage is dark.

and the spotlight is focused on the scars and blemishes--
blinding everyone to everything else.

no flowers, no applause for this jester.

method acting, my ass.

the audience is waiting
and expecting.

the non-paying kibitzers,
watching through frosted glass
and over plastic cages
are critical
and waiting--more like praying for
or preying on--
a missed beat
an ad lib
a skipped line

or an impromptu laughter.

the brows are raised
and the claws--unsheathed

ready to pounce on the slightest--read: nonexistent--
provocation.

all in the name of fictional maternal instincts.

this stage has turned into an operating table
on which i--or the specimen i have become--am lying down.

my head and chest and groin have been cut, opened and spread
wide.

i lost my humanity the moment i looked
and let myself be led
onto that sacrificial table
where no soul has ever been saved.

with the last strand of self-respect
i will sew myself up again.

and stand up.

proud. like before.

Sex Makes People Healthy, Cheerful, Strong, Beautiful and Sleepy

I found an interesting article about sex and its benefits.

samwise' first pix

samwise has been with us for only a month. yet his size has already tripled.


these are his first pictures. taken earlier today.

advance deathbed musings

it's been thirty one days, twenty hours and forty seven minutes since the beginning of two thousand and seven.

so much for "making the year 2007 last longer than 2006."

that was the only new years resolution i had the guts to make, and i can't even be true to it.

this year might just slip through my fingers without my knowing it.

i'm scared of going to bed tonight (or tomorrow morning). i'm afraid that when i wake up, i'd find that 2007 is already over.

i don't know what's wrong with me. now, it's so important for me to make each day last. to relish every second. to savor every breath. to feel the air around me.

i may not do anything important, i may not discover the cure for aids (or genetic stupidity), but at least i know how i'm wasting my time.

i don't want to grow old and look back and wonder how i spent my youth. of course, it would be great to look back and know that you did really amazing things. but i'm a simple man. i have no illusions of greatness.

knowing i've gone to mts. banawe and sagada, boracay, vigan, et cetera is good enough for me.

going to more places like pagudpod, batanes and guimaras, wasting away in bed reading my favorite books, or being a couch potato for several days watching my favorite movies and series on dvd's, or learning new recipes, or making my own furnitures, or chatting and having coffee with good friends, dining with my mom and siblings, writing scripts that may or may not get produced, dramas that may or may not get staged, fictions and poems that may or may not get published, or having sex for days on end are good memories to look back at.

i just wish that when i finally do something about this, i'd still have enough time.

eighty eight

today, the 30th of january is my father's birthday.

he would have been eighty eight today.

he was a simple man. he had no major ups-and-downs. and as far as i know, he had no major ambition, or any major failure.

but he was a good man. he had a lot of friends. everybody in our town knew him. nobody said anything bad about him. everybody spoke of him like they were close friends of his.

he neither got into politics nor joined any prestigious organization so he was never influential. but up to this day, everybody knows us--his sons and daughters--and refers to us, as "anak ni peles."

he was not perfect as a husband. but my mother, who is independence-incarnate, must have seen something in him that made her stay with my father for fifty years. and now, for the past three and a half years that he's been gone, my mother visits his tomb everyday after mass. according to her, she just stays there for a few minutes and talks to him. maybe she gets lonely sometimes and she needs to feel his reassuring presence. or maybe she, to quote from a gilbert o'sullivan song,

"couldn't understand why the only man,
she had ever loved had been taken.
leaving her to start, with a heart so badly broken."

(i'm not sure i could finish this. the more i think about him, the more i miss him. and somehow wish that he were still here.)

he was far from being an ideal father. but if i could live another lifetime, and had a choice, i would most probably pick him again.

he didn't have much. but what he lacked materially, he compensated for by kindness and love. he always worried where we were. he didn't like it when he couldn't see us, literally. of course, we hated it. but deep inside, we appreciated that. that made us feel wanted and reassured.

what he couldn't teach us himself, he let us learn on our own. most of the time, he didn't say no whenever we wanted to go somewhere or do anything. (or maybe he just couldn't say no to my mother. anyways...) considering how restless he would get whenever we were out of sight, letting us leave the house was surely a big sacrifice for him.

he never expected anything grand from us. so there was no pressure whenever he was around.

he was the most appreciative person i have ever known in my whole life.

his smiles were some of the most genuine.

and his heart, one of the purest.

freaky message alert sound

for the last several days, i've been hearing this freaky message alert sound in the office. i think one officemate bought a new phone.

there's nothing wrong with that sound per se. it just brings back some really really really bad memories.

i wasn't aware of it at first. i couldn't explain it but the pain is physical. my extemities felt cold, i had a little difficulty breathing and it felt like my throat was dry.

then i remembered something. and i got to connect it to the sound.

now, i still feel the same everytime i hear it. but at least i know why.

the much awaited and long anticipated transfer

finally.

today (technically it was yesterday because it's already sunday. anyways...) i moved in to my condo.

yipeee!

all the while, i was thinking that i wouldn't be transporting too much stuff. but as i was packing, it just felt that it was not going to end.

as usual, i underestimated everything. i only had about half an hour to pack before the movers came.

and the number of boxes that we bought. most of my clothes ended up in black garbage bags. and i don't know how they would all fit inside my new place.

there are just a few more glitches to attend to. but i'm excited. and things are looking really great.

surreal

my head is reeling.
my mind is full of shit.
my heart is somewhere else; in its place is a huge hole.
my spirit is a heap of shards of broken glass.
my hands and feet are lead.

home is no longer my comfort zone.
everyday is a battle.
everywhere i go, there's war.

my soul can't rest in peace.
there's no place for me to rest.
there's no pillow to put my head on.
there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

chocolates no longer offer any consolation.
flowers are for the dead.
kisses are bitter poison.

i just rediscovered this. according to the time-stamp, i wrote this on march 01, 2006. there's nothing poetic about this, i know. just random thoughts and musings.

i love today

got a few great news today. can't say yet what they are exactly. confidential, and i don't want to jinx them.

suffice it to say that they are great news. that i've been waiting for them for some weeks, even months, now.

and i prayed for them yesterday and this morning.

i love today.

some thoughts on 2007

two thousand and seven is ten days and twelve minutes old.

i'm still not sure what this year is going to be like.

i don't know what i'd be doing this year. i have some plans. small ones. unimportant.

nothing that would change my life. nothing drastic. nothing that would make me say to myself, "this is what i'm going to do for the rest of my life."

there are a few new places i would be visiting this year. some people i'd be spending some time with.

i want to develop some of my skills. and learn new ones.

* * *

nakatayo ako sa tubig. hanggang tuhod. malakas ang agos. may mga ipuipong umiikot sa binti ko. nakakakiliti. pero hindi ako kinikiliti.

kinukuha lang ang mga butil ng buhanging tinatapakan ko. paisa-isa. mabilis.

hanggang nararamdaman kong ang natitira na lang ang 'yung mismong nasa ilalim ng talampakan ko.

at maski 'yun ay tinatangay din ng alon.

alam kong konting angat lang ang mga paa ko, mabilis nang mawawala ang buhanging tinutuntungan ko.

at hindi ko alam kung mananatili ba ako sa aking kinatatayuan. o maghahanap na ba ako ng ibang matutuntungan.