have you ever felt like you are in a particular place but you don't know exactly where it is?

And you know that 99.9% of the things around you have been there for as long as you can remember, yet you feel they're unfamiliar?

It's like you're seeing things for the first time. It's like you're a virgin in this place.

And that confuses you all the more because you know that what you're feeling is wrong. That it is against all logic that your environment is different when you have memories of yourself being in it the day before.

And it's worse than deja vu. At least with deja vu, you feel like you've been there and done that before.

The discomfort is the same, but the fear of the unknown is greater.

elehiya sa isang kandila

kandilang kumukuti-kutitap
umaandap-andap
sa makapal na karimlam
lumalaban, nakikipagtagisan
sa malakas na bagyong umiihip
bumubuga sa mumunti niyang apoy

hinihigop, sinisinghot
ang lahat ng hanging kayang hingahin

sinisimot ng timawang
mitsa ang kahuli-hulihang
patak ng lusaw na esperma

at bago pa muling sumikat ang araw
wala nang matitira

kundi tumagas na kaluluwa
at marka ng natuyong patak ng luha
kasama ng mga buhok
at kalansay na 'di na makikilala
sa loob ng nitso

mamayang hapon, isang kandila
ang muling sisindihan
sa harap ng aking lapida

--xe061803

i can't think of anything to say

but i feel i need to update this blog somehow.

(come on. i know you love looking at my pix. kidding.)


pulilan river - july 2007 - around 5am.
this is the river that divides the towns of pulilan and plaridel. i passed across it a few weeks ago on my way to quezon city for my 8:30am class. although it's really low-res, i like it. somehow it looks magical. whatever.

nlex - same morning.

hidef orientation - 25 july 2007. some people from the postprod department were giving us a walkthrough on hidef cams. yup, i was listening in between pic-takings.

ccp / baywalk - 22 july 2007 / screening of ned trespeces' trabaho. sunset at the manila bay is still as mesmerizing as ever. just hold your breath.

same afternoon. beautiful.

lost for words...

so here are some of my pix. yipeee!

this is i, taken by jke when we had a late night / early morning lugaw at pilo-timog ave. taken about two weeks ago. tindi ng hair, 'no?


earlier that day, while we were (supposed to be) brainstorming for the new tv drama.


job and i at mcdo. i practically spent the whole night taking pix of myself. isinali ko na din sa isa si job para 'di naman ako masyadong rude.



same night with job at mcdo. i had my head shaved early that day. this pic was taken using my own phone. ang daya kasi nung kay job--may soft focus!



same night. ito ba ang tinatawag na "inaantok na matabang mukha"?

and then morpheus leaves

he must've gotten tired of waiting for his servant

to wake up.

 

a useless channel. a medium

so thick

nothing passes through.

 

a mere merchant

of imagination.

agonizing

over a few meaningless letters

for a plate of dirt.

 

letting his sand

gather dust

and lose potency.

 

morpheus has left

for a greener meadow

a more colorful sunset

a lazier morning

 

a more prolific medium.

a more tenacious weaver

of dreams.