to kill a mockingbird

I remember when my daddy gave me that gun. He told me that I should never point it at anything in the house; and that he'd rather I'd shoot at tin cans in the backyard. But he said that sooner or later he supposed the temptation to go after birds would be too much, and that I could shoot all the blue jays I wanted - if I could hit 'em; but to remember it was a sin to kill a mockingbird. Well, I reckon because mockingbirds don't do anything but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat people's gardens, don't nest in the corncrib, they don't do one thing but just sing their hearts out for us.
-- Atticus Finch

autoerotica

autoerotix

albus says...

"It is our choices
that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities."
- Albus Dumbledore

stolen memories... or, something like that


some photographs taken on the night before our company's halloween party in 2005.

i grabbed these photos without telling the owner first.

• more stolen memories

sabine conjured up this image



an officemate & a good friend's daughter drew this a couple of months ago and gave it to me and i still have it on my workstation.

i think it's lovely in its simplicity & innocence.

i take one look at it and everything becomes okay.

re-connecting with myself

it feels great.

i almost forgot how good it felt.

insomaniacs
cinema one re-launch preps

more insomaniacs

Rent
Jane Cooper

If you want my apartment, sleep in it
but let's have a clear understanding
the books are still free agents

If the rocking chair's arms surround you
they can also let you go,
they can shape the air like a body

I don't want your rent, I want
a radiance of your attention
like the candle's flame when we eat

I mean the kind of awe
attending the spaces between us--
Not a roof but a field of stars

(i originally posted it on my multiply blog. it had an accompanying photo of myself and my ex-girlfriend in caliraya taken either in 2004 or in 2005. aah, those were the days.)

pamaya-maya!

i created this blog in 2002. and i only posted one entry every six months or every year.

now, all of a sudden, i keep on uploading texts and pictures all the time.

and i am ambivalent about the whole thing: i still prefer writing on actual journals. the feel of paper, and the tip of the pen gliding on its surface--what can be more wonderful than those?

i should really be working right now. time is running short.

what your name says about you

(grabe! kumukulo na ang tiyan ko sa sobrang tense dahil sa dami ng kailangang gawin... and yet...!)

anyways, here's another site that you may want to check out, you... you... youuuuuuu!

http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp


and here's what it says about what my name says about me... (what?!)

You entered: cenon obispo palomares

There are 20 letters in your name.Those 20 letters total to 92There are 9 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 11

The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.

The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.

The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.

The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9

A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.

As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 11

An Inner Dream number of 11 means:
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.

Copyright © 2006 Paul R. Sadowski (http://www.paulsadowski.com)

birthday calculator

if you know your birthday but don't know how old you are (like, helllllo!)... or, you're curious how many months old you already are, or how many weeks, days, hours, minutes or seconds... or, you want to know when your (biological) parents probably had sex that led to your eventual conception, etc, then you may want to check out:

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

(wow! parang wala akong deadlines na hinahabol!)

even crammers get the blues


i always wonder: why is it always so hard to just start working? no, not just "working," it's more like, writing?

based on my experience, it's always easy for me to start doing something--like, doing the laundry, or buying something, or paying the bills.

but with writing, it always takes me hours and hours just to muster enough courage to type the first letter. or being sure of the first word. or being confident that the first sentence makes sense.

and i always end up noticing how dusty the pc monitor is. so i clean it. then the work station will suddenly look too cluttered. and before i know it, i have already cleaned the whole house.

then, i will feel like writing finally. but then, i am already exhausted.

so i will have to rest and wait for the following day.

and, somehow, i have this weird notion that i already have a headstart since i am finished with all the dilly-dallying. then, lo and behold, another day comes, i sit in front of my pc, i find it difficult to press the first key, so my eyes wander to look for something new to clean.

anuman ang mangyari, hindi nagbabago ang tao.
(isang ipokritong sermon mula sa isang nagmamarunong)

ginagawa lang tao ang lahat ng magagawa n'ya upang manatiling buhay at maligaya.

kung ano ang ugali at maging desisyon ng isang taong nasa isang mahirap na sitwasyon, iyon ang totoong siya. ang prinsipyo at paninindigan ay hindi nasusukat sa kung ano ang inuugali ng isang tao kung kailan komportable ang bagay-bagay. bagkus, natitimbang ito sa panahong walang nakakakita at walang magagalit, o walang maaaring matakbuhan, at kapag buhay at kamatayan / dangal at kasiyahan ang pinamimilian.

ang taong tapat, iwan mo mang mag-isa, sa matagal na panahon, ng limpak-limpak na kayamanan, ay hindi matutukso at ni hindi sasagi sa isip niya ang magnakaw kahit katiting. at sakaling matukso man, makakaya niyang kontrolin ang sarili at pagnanasa, pananatilihin ang respeto sa sarili at sa mga mahal sa buhay, at iisipin muna kung ano ang maaaring maging bunga ng kanyang gagawin.

pero ang taong likas na mandaraya--kahit piso lang ang mapunta sa tabi n'ya, kahit mapalingon ka lang, kahit ilang segundo lang--magnanakaw at magnanakaw siya. di niya kasalanan na mayroon siyang ganong pagnanasa. pero ang kasalanan niya ay ang hindi paglaban sa ganoong kasamaan.

a bit of an explanation on the graph below

Your Life Analysis:

Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score leaves room for improvement. You can make changes to improve your trouble areas, and this will bring you greater satisfaction. Focus on your weakest points and set about to change them. Do not delay your happiness and success. (Read more on improving your life)

Mind: Your mind rating is a score of your mind's clarity, ability, and health. Higher scores indicate an advancement in knowledge, clear and capable thinking, high mental health, and pure thought free of interference. Your mind score is within a healthy zone. This means you have achieved a level of mental balance and harmony consistent with living a healthy, happy life. Continue doing what works, and keep your focus. In our fast-paced world, mental clutter is all too common. Be vigilant in maintaining healthy mental function. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving the mind.

Body: Your body rating measures your body's health, fitness, and general wellness. A healthy body contributes to a happy life, however many of us are lacking in this area. You have a rather good body score, which is an indication that you take care of yourself. There is room for improvement, however. Please keep doing what works. Eat right, exercise, reduce your stress, treat any illness. Doing these things will help ensure your body will be in good working order for a long time to come. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving the body.

Spirit: Your spirit rating seeks to capture in a number that elusive quality which is found in your faith, your attitude, and your philosophy on life. A higher score indicates a greater sense of inner peace and balance. Your spirit score is dramatic. Continue on your path, do not stray. Continue to reap the rewards which your spirituality brings forth. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving the spirit.

Friends/Family: Your friends and family rating measures your relationships with those around you, and is based on how large, healthy, and dependable your social network is. Your friends and family score is not bad but can be improved. Maintain your current social net, while you try to expand it. Try new things and form new friendships. You will be rewarded greatly.

Love: Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. You have a rather low love score. While some are lucky, for most of us love doesn't fall in our laps. You must actively work on improving this area. Do not despair, there is someone out there for you. Read advice from other quiz-takers on finding and maintaining love.

Finance: Your finance rating is a score that rates your current financial health and stability. You have a rather good financial score, which is not all that common these days. Keep doing what works. Avoid common pitfalls and save for the future. You will be glad you did. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving your finances.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.6
Mind:	7.1
Body:	7.3
Spirit:	8.6
Friends/Family:	4.8
Love:	3.6
Finance:	7.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz